“Love yourself first and everything else falls in line” ~Lucille Ball
Yesterday I mused on all the love wishes that went round, in person, cards in the mail, on Facebook, and greetings shared as I was out and about. Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays you just can’t avoid. I had to wonder amidst all those external wishes of love how the sender was actually loving him or herself. That’s why I included this quote from Lucille Ball, because I truly believe that love starts from within and at times it seems like it’s the most difficult type to enjoy.
“How can you know if you really truly love yourself?” I was asked recently. I put that question ‘out there’ and here are some thoughts to ponder on the day after…
– Do you judge yourself in any way?
>your body (fat/skinny, slow, less agile, lack strength, etc.), your mind (forgetful, slow, dull, etc.) your abilities (not good at math/science/communicating, don’t know about ___, don’t understand___
>any of these is a way to tell your self that you are less than in some way.
>I remember someone telling me “God don’t make no junk”! That was a revelation that allowed me to take a look at how I constantly judged myself. If I made a mistake, I would say out loud “what an idiot”, even though I know I am not. As often as I said it, I realized how that might pound my psyche down because it was being absorbed by my subconscious. I stopped and choose to look at what the seeming ‘mistake’ was and what I wanted to do about it. Took me out of judgement, into perspective and then a different action.
– Do you believe what others tell you?
>how about “You’re not ___, you always ___, you should ___, you don’t ___”?
>how supported and loved do you feel when you absorb those beliefs and take them in, owning them like they are real?
>can you take into account it might just be an opinion rather then the ‘truth’?
>I will bet that all of us had parents, teachers, relatives, friends, employers, co-workers, colleagues that have shared their beliefs of how we should be – most often under the guise of ‘helping’. Feedback can be wonderful – keep in mind it’s just another opinion in the vastness of all the others out there.
– How willing would you be to take some action on your own behalf?
>write down what you are grateful for in your life
>make a list of who you appreciate and what it is about them, then tell them
>journal ten things that you think are wonderful about you
>and finally create a list of your strengths — and date the pages
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” — John Lubbock